MSTF 6: The Musical
The Annotated Script

Fourth Skit

The original version of "Armada Toyline" started out as five verses. Verse one and two dealt with "Generation 1", verse 3 was "Beast Wars", verse 4 was "Beast Machines", and verse 5 was the movie. After I showed it to M Sipher, he suggested a verse about "Robots in Disguise". So I expanded it to six verses, which mirrord the original song ("American Pie", by Don McLean) perfectly.

However, a month before the MSTF, Sipher suggested that we cut down the number of verses, lest we have the audience get restless. So, I cut out the "Beast Machines" verse. Five days before the performance, I realize that we were in serious danger of running over our allotted time of two hours by ten minutes or more, so I trimmed the opening credits and cut out the second verse, as we already had two others that dealt with G1. I hated doing both things, but even the greatest film directors have to edit their work.

However, even the greatest film directors can put deleted scenes on DVD. So, that's what this is -- a bonus, an extra. Here is the original, full six verse version of "Armada Toyline".

Incidentally, this song is basically an auto-biography of my Transformers collecting life. Some things were changed for the sake of telling a better story -- I always was driven home from school to watch the episode of "Transformers" that I had taped, so it wasn't really "rushing" home. But other things are exactly as it happened to me. I really did buy four "Beast Wars" toys the first time I saw them on the shelves: Optimus Primal, Megatron (bat/gator two-pack), Razorbeast, and Terrorsaur.

So here you go. Here's the full version of the song.

-Phil Zeman
August 5, 2003

"ARMADA TOYLINE"

[A lyrical adaption of "American Pie" by Don McLean.]

VERSE 1: A long, long time ago
         I can still remember how
         I'd rush home and watch this show.
         I'd see the logo on the screen
         And I'd watch the battle go on between
         The good and evil robots trading blows.

         So through the years, I bought the toys,
         Even though they were just for "boys".
         And as I grew older,
         My purchases grew bolder.

         It's now been almost twenty years
         And yet I ignore all the jeers
         That come from non-collecting peers.
         As I still buy my toys.

(A four beat drum count off is heard to cue Sipher into the first
refrain.)

         I
REFRAIN: Buy, buy this Armada toyline.
         Get those robots -- and some Go-Bots -- they will be all mine.
         And Happy Meal Toys; on french fries I will dine
         Saying "Any Transformer is fine; any Transformer is fine."


VERSE 2: I grew up on G1
         Oh those toys were lots of fun
         Optimus was really neat.
         Whenever he changed to a truck
         I knew Megs was out of luck
         And soon he'd command his troops to retreat.

         The rest of the world did not agree.
         They wanted those Micro Machines.
         And after what seemed like days
         The show just went away

         I thought that there would be no more
         Until that day I was in the store
         I saw some beasts -- and I bought four.
         I had some brand new toys.

         And now I
REFRAIN: Buy, buy this Armada toyline.
         Get those robots -- and some Go-Bots -- they will be all mine.
         And Happy Meal Toys; on french fries I will dine
         Saying "Any Transformer is fine; any Transformer is fine."


VERSE 3: Beast Wars was the latest craze
         Some people called it a stupid phase;
         They were stuck in G1 times.
         "Hasbro's wants to just make a buck
         "Prime's no MUNKY -- he's a TRUKK!"
         They screamed out their loud complains and whines

         I ignored them after a while
         Because the show did make me smile
         The best part, I confess,
         Was Megatron's "No" and "Yesssssssssssssss"

         He was slick right from the start
         Dinobot showed lots of heart
         And Waspy was always blown apart
         And I bought all their toys.

         Yet now I
REFRAIN: Buy, buy this Armada toyline.
         Get those robots -- and some Go-Bots -- they will be all mine.
         And Happy Meal Toys; on french fries I will dine
         Saying "Any Transformer is fine; any Transformer is fine."


VERSE 4: CGI was the latest thing,
         And we got to hear ol' Primal sing,
         "There he is my little guy."

// BREAK -- Either Garry Chalk sings for us or we get the crowd to
join in singing with us:

         There he is my little guy,
         There he is -- my little guy.
         Isn't he cute?

After the obligatory applause, we do a drum beat count off and start with
the next part of the verse. //

         And in the end Optimus had won
         Megs's scheming was all but done
         But Waspy stayed behind and waved goodbye.

         The Maximals went home in space
         We got "Beast Machines" in its place.
         What had they been thinking?
         Perhaps they all were drinking.

         I mean: giving Tankor Rhinox's spark
         Reformatting the planet -- what a lark.
         And now Cybertron's green with bark --
         At least I have my toys.

         But now I
REFRAIN: Buy, buy this Armada toyline.
         Get those robots -- and some Go-Bots -- they will be all mine.
         And Happy Meal Toys; on french fries I will dine
         Saying "Any Transformer is fine; any Transformer is fine."


VERSE 5: After the beasts had run their course
         We got vehicles in force
         I got a sense of deja vu.
         It was the 'Bots versus the 'Cons --
         Hadn't this already been done?
         As G1 or even G2?

         The cartoon seemed to be a bore;
         Canon was shoved right out the door.
         Yet there was one bright spark
         In a goofy, singing shark.

         "Who's the baddest shark around?
         "Who's the smartest shark in town?"
         Sky-Byte never made me frown
         And yes, I have his toy.

         Yet now I
REFRAIN: Buy, buy this Armada toyline.
         Get those robots -- and some Go-Bots -- they will be all mine.
         And Happy Meal Toys; on french fries I will dine
         Saying "Any Transformer is fine; any Transformer is fine."


VERSE 6: As I look back through all the lines
         I'm reminded of the horrific time
         Back in 1986.
         I saw them all on the big screen
         And then Unicron came on the scene
         And chewed them up like they were sticks.

         In their seats, the children screamed.
         All that death -- they never dreamed
         That they'd watch all that croakin'
         And good old Prime was broken.

         So the robot I admired most
         He died after Megsy's boast.
         But he'd be back like Starscream's ghost
         As a new robot toy.

         So now I
REFRAIN: Buy, buy this Armada toyline.
         Get those robots -- and some Go-Bots -- they will be all mine.
         And Happy Meal Toys; on french fries I will dine
         Saying "Any Transformer is fine; any Transformer is fine."

SIPHER : SING, DAMMIT!

         I buy, buy this Armada toyline.
         Get those robots -- and some Go-Bots -- they will be all mine.
         And Happy Meal Toys; on french fries I will dine
         Saying "Any Transformer is fine."

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