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MSTF 7: Generation Why?
The Annotated Script
Closing Skit and Credits
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SKIT FIVE : FILLING IN THE BLANKS
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(Dramatic march music is playing, something patriotic. If we can't get
actual music, we'll do it ourselves a capella. If this is the case, while
one is talking the other two are keeping the tune going, and switch off. All
speak with a very important-sounding, proud tone.)
SIPHER: Ladies and gentlemen, there are thousands of characters spread
across the many timelines and universes of the Transformers. Yet many
are unsung heroes who have fallen through the cracks of fictional
importance.
DOUG: Takara's vaguely-recent release of Sunstorm and Load Hauler, recolors
of classic Transformers toys inspired by background charcaters within
More Than Meets the Eye, is but a tip of the iceberg.
PHIL: Yes, the background of the Transformers mythos is rich with deeply-
nuanced characters, just like the cantina scene in "Star Wars" where
every off-the-rack wolf mask is an interstellar hero without whom the
universe would have ceased to exist because THEY'RE GONNA MILK THAT
SERIES FOR EVERY DAMN PENNY THEY CAN IN BOOKS AND-
(Phil stops and looks embarrased, since Doug and Sipher are giving him odd
looks, but not breaking the tune if they can help it)
SIPHER: So, in tribute to all those nameless and shoddily-colored
background robots, we present to you...
ALL: (REALLY big important-like voices) THE UNSUNG BACKGROUND DECEPTICONS
OF MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE!
(Shot of Sideswipe standing beside Megatron at the new base from part 1)
PHIL: You may wonder what Sideswipe is doing at the Decepticon base. But
repeated appearances in later episodes prove that it is in fact the
Decepticon secret agent SWIPESIDE! He's Sideswipe's Decepticon
couterpart, and he's always nearby. REAL nearby. He reports on the
Autobots' plans, like their famous "sit around and wait for Megatron
to make a big weapon then go blow it up" strategy. Of course,
Megatron doesn't listen to him anyway because he's an idiot. NEXT!
(Shot of the Decepticon lineup, with three odd-colored Rumbles)
SIPHER: These-
PHIL: Oh, the idiot being Megatron, not Swipeside.
SIPHER: (slight pause to make sure Phil doesn't interrupt again) These
three are the triple threat called Tumble, Fumble, and Crumble.
Sadly, this was their only involvement with the Decepticons, as
shortly afterwards they persued a film career in Hollywood. Being
passed up for the parts of Lock, Shock and Barrel in Tim Burton's
critically-acclaimed "The Nightmare Before Christmas" was a major
blow, forcing them to subsist on small parts in many failed sticoms.
After being rejected as stunt doubles for the Powerpuff Girls, they
have since moved on to starring in videos of a nature that we are not
allowed to discuss here. NEXT!
(Shot of a random teal jet from somewhere)
DOUG: This is DEATHSKYBUSTER. He's an insanely powerful Decepticon who
single-handedly wiped out six Autobot platoons, and nearly took the
Autobot Matrix from Optimus Prime... in the fanfic he wrote about
himself. He doesn't show that to his co-workers at the refuel hut
because then they laugh at him and pour lubricant down his skidplate.
NEXT!
(Shot of the purple Skyraider jumping off the elevator)
PHIL: ... oh, wait, sorry. That's just an animation error. NEXT!
[We're being mean. Don't ask.]
(Shot of Ravage)
SIPHER: You may think this is Ravage, but you're mistaken. No, this is
Ravage's identical twin SAVAGE, who looks exactly like Ravage.
However, where Ravage is a saboteur and one of Soundwave's most
trusted cassettes, Savage is actually a frustrated author whose
books, such as "Decepticons Are From Cybertron, Autobots Are From
Gobotropolis" were banned by Optimus Prime and the Autobot Council Of
Elder Librarians as being "maliciously divisive and also in purple
crayon". NEXT!
(Shot of Decepticon group from MTMTE pt1)
DOUG: Finally, we come to this famous image. Yes, who can forget the
notorious orange jet leading this Decepticon patrol against Autobot
intruders on Cybertron? We can, because we're not going to talk about
HIM. We're here to talk about UNSUNG heroes! Sunstorm here
practically has an entire opera now, thanks to three toys and a major
story arc in the comics!
PHIL: Nor are we here to talk about Purple Flamethrower Man, who is just a
funky-colored Air Warrior. SO SAYS US. (gives the audience a very
stern look, complete with finger pointed in the "YOU want some?"
manner.)
SIPHER: And NOBODY gives a damn about that blue guy. Screw him with a
phillips head.
DOUG: Instead, the greatest unsung Decepticon ever... Bill, show us who is is!
(Shot of Decepticon group with shadowy figure spotlighted)
DOUG: SEE? What character could possibly be lurking in the shadows, unseen
by all, yet in his own way the most important character of all?
PHIL: Who IS this mysterious dark Decepticon?
SIPHER: ALL will be revealed!
(Shot dissolves, zooms, dissolves, and zooms again to reveal...)
ALL: IT'S BATMAN!
[And finally, lucky Number 13. Obsessive? Probably. But boy, did the
crowd react to the payoff, making the previous references all worth it.
It's also worth noting that the VCR we had did not have a pause button. So,
each time there was an image on the screen (save for the purple Decepticon),
we would say, "Look closely, keep looking, got it and STOP!"and stop the
tape. Which, actually, was a lot funnier than had we just been able to
pause it.
And, we came up with a damn snappy march, if we do say so ourselves. We
don't need no steenkin' instruments; a capella, baby.]
(House lights down, roll credits)
-- CLOSING CREDITS --
INSPIRED BY
Mystery Science Theater 3000
and
Cartoon Network's Adult Swim
(See what cable TV does to you kids?)
WRITERS
Doug Dlin
Matthew Greenbaum
Robert Jung
Matt Kuphaldt
Greg "M Sipher" Sepelak
Jennifer Ulm
Graham Weaver
David Willis
Philip N. Zeman
PERFORMERS
Doug Dlin
Greg "M Sipher" Sepelak
Philip N. Zeman
ORIGINAL "THINK TRANSFORMERS" BY
Robert Jung
Modified by Philip N. Zeman
TECHNICAL STAFF
Bill Ray
Kelly Sepelak
Benson Yee
Intel Inside!
(Done just to irritate Rob Jung)
MUSIC
Opening: "Fight Song!" by The Aquabats
Closing: "Man It's So Loud in Here
(Hot 2002 Remix)"
by They Might Be Giants
BUMPER MUSIC
"Happiness Hotel" -- The Great Muppet Caper
"I'm a Boinger" -- The Harry Pitts Band
"The Tick" Theme -- The Tick
"StrongBad Techno" -- Homestarrunner.com
"We Are the Bonnes" -- Mega Man Legends
"Dawn of a New Day" -- Vince DiCola
"Mas Fun" -- They Might Be Giants
"The Ocean" -- Band of Weeds
THANKS
3H Productions
Hasbro
All who helped this year's production
Caffeine
And you most of all, Scarecrow
LEAD SWIMMER
Greg "M Sipher" Sepelak
DOING THE DOGGY-PADDLE
Philip N. Zeman
OPTIMUS: Perfect.
(The Autobots look shocked, INCLUDING Hound, Prowl and Jazz)
THE END
Copyright 2004 King Weasel Productions
with SkyJammer Enterprises
===========================================================================
BUMPER NINE : WHO'S IN CONTROL?
Music - "Chicken Yodel" -- Kerry Christensen
===========================================================================
You're listening to Kerry Christensen's "Chicken
Yodel". Sipher vetoed the idea to use this for a
bumper.
Well guess what, Siph:
I'm in control now.
EVERYBODY POLKA!
What?
What do you mean we're done?
Out of time? We can't be out of time!
Son of a
[mstf]
Copyright © 1999 - 2005 ASM Productions
A SkyJammer Enterprises Publication
ASM is not responsible for content of offsite links.
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