Altered States Magazine - June 2002

The Haiku-ed Trannies Ballot
Part III: Cartoons and Animated Episodes

By Philip N. Zeman


*** Best Single Episode or Multiple-Part Episode of the Year
"Ultra Magnus:  Forced Fushion[sic]"
1) The title
2) Seeing Omega Prime for the first time was great... till he talked.
3) "Who's the shark now, baby?"

                        Sky-Byte is so great.
                   He can make most things better.
                    Praise the Great Steel Shark!

*** Best Single Episode Ever
V1=Code of Hero
V2=The Probe
"Code Of Hero" for Dinobot's heroism (I'll think that no matter what
people say.  "The Probe" because the Predacons won.

                          What makes a hero?
                  Selfless acts, doing what's right.
                           Dinobot is one.

*** Best Multiple-Part Episode Ever
V1="The Agenda"
V2="More than Meets the Eye"
V3="Other Voices"
"The Agenda" just because it involves what I liked about BW, which is
becoming fast a more favorite memory.  MTMTE started it all.  And
"Other Voices"... I don't remember why.  It was BW, though.

                        Can you tell by now?
                      I'm using my old ballots.

*** Worst Single Episode or Multiple-Part Episode of the Year
"Test of Metal".
Wedge.  You IDIOT.  You seal off the space bridge?  How friggin'
moronic are you?

                     Wedge, you stupid twit.
               You backstabbed your own teammates.
                      You are such the dork.

*** Worst Single Episode Ever
V1="Forbidden Fruit" -- BM
V2="Carnage in C Minor" -- G1
V3="City of Steel" -- G1
Again, FF gave us Nightscream.  Such evil can not go unnoticed.
"Carnage" is, well, "Carnage".  And I still haven't watched "City of
Steel" since MST3K at BC 2000.

                         Nightscream is whiny.
                    Carnage assaults eyes and ears.
                          Robot 'gators suck.

*** Worst Multiple-Part Episode Ever
V1="Five Faces of Darkness"
Gotta go with last year's responses, since RiD had no "true" multi-
part episodes.

                              DVD said it:
                       "Five Farces of Dorkness"
                            And I must agree.

*** Funniest Single Episode Ever
V1="Koji Gets His Wish"
V2="Ultra Magnus: Forced Fushion [sic]"
Wow, Kremzeek was knocked off its perch.  Singing Sharks!

                        Singing, singing shark
                 Knocks Kremzeek down, down the list.
                      His response?  "Kremzeek!"

*** Best Japanese Cartoon Series
"Transformers: Headmasters".  Only because I just happened to see one
ep of that a month ago, and it was hilarious.

                       "I'll send you to hell!"
                      "Too late for apologies."
                      Sparkle!  "Men don't cry."

*** Best Transformers Cartoon Quote
"Who's the baddest shark around?
Who's the smartest shark in town?
Sky-Byte, that's me!
Who'll drive Scourge into the ground
And never let old Megatron down --
Sky-Byte, that's me!"
		-- Sky-Byte, in "Koji Gets His Wish"

That one had me crying.  Second runner up would be the line I have in
a .sig file:

"Who's the shark now, baby?"
		-- Sky-Byte, in "Ultra Magnus: Force Fushion[sic]"

                        Sky-Byte, you minstrel
                      Sing us a song, once again
                       Ah, Sky-Byte, that's you!

*** Best Fight Scene in an Episode
Optimus Primal vs Optimal Megatron -- "Endgame, Pt. 3".  One of the
few good things from BM, this still sticks in my head.

                          I have a question:
                    Megatron used all the modes --
                          Why didn't Primal?

*** Best Cel Animation in a Single Episode
V1="Call of the Primitives"
V2="Return of Optimus Prime" Part 2
Right.  Like RiD had good cel animation.

                         Well, it did have it.
                         One cel was animated.
                          Just one.  Only one.

*** Best Computer Animation in a Single Episode
V1="Nemesis" part 1
V2="Agenda" part 3

                         Last year's responses.
                   Cut and paste -- it is my friend.
                         It saves me much time.

*** Best Character Voice
Scott McNeil made this character so much fun.

                          Even Waspy-Thrust:
                   "Chicks dig brooding loner bit."
                        That was a good quote.

*** Best Series Opener/Title Sequence
Beast Wars: Season 3.
It's just so... *beautifully* animated.  Vibrant colors, new
characters.  It just feels right, too, compared to BW S1 or BW S2.

                           We see Optimal,
                       Rattrap underwater, too.
                            CGI goodness.

*** The Dr. Wily award, for the weirdest plot device/gadget/scheme in
an episode
That Blue Griffin in "Aerial Assault".
I mean, c'mon -- what was THAT?

                         What? A blue griffin?
                     I just do not get the point.
                        What the slag is that?

*** The De-Animator Award, for the character whose animated form
should be completely redesigned
Rodimus Prime.
I'd like to see a model where his legs DON'T become his trailer.  See
"Return of Optims Prime, Pt. 1", specifically the scene where
Wreck-Gar is examining Prime.  Horrible animation.
I'd also like to see Ironhide look like his toy.  He can be made to
look cool -- see "Transformers: Chronicles".

                          Oh, Rodimus Prime,
                    Why can't you be more like Op?
                         And have a trailer?

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5: Transformers: The Movie | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

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