Altered States Magazine - June 2002

  • Armada Wave 1 Reviews

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    The History of Online TransFandom

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  • Takara: On the Ball?

  • The Haiku-ed Trannies Ballot

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    The Haiku-ed Trannies Ballot
    Part V: Comics

    By Philip N. Zeman

    *** Best Single Issue of an American Transformers Comic
    V1=TFG1 #75
    V2=TFG2 #12
    V3=TFG1 #71
    Rereading the issues in the Titan collections reaffirmed my love of
    Furman/Senior, hence the double-dip of Furman/Senior issues.  And I
    still loved surrendering to the Decepticons as an unexpected twist.
                              Furman and Senior
                          Just above Furman/Wildman.
                             I want more Senior!
    *** Best Single Issue of a Marvel UK Transformers Comic
    UK #150 -- The Furman origin of Unicron
                               Unicron the god.
                         Much better than the cartoon.
                             Primacron?  Big Deal.
    *** Best Transformers Comic Book Artist
    V1=Geoff Senior
    V2=Andrew Wildman
    Senior is senior.  All must follow!
                              We clamor for more!
                          "Alignment" was not enough!
                       More Senior!  More Senior!  More!
    *** Best Transformers Comic Book Cover
    TFG1 #5:  "The Transformers are all DEAD."
    Love that painted artwork.
                           What a chilling thought.
                       "The Transformers are all DEAD."
                        Good thing they weren't, huh?
    *** Best Transformers Comic Book Series
    TFG1.  Furman had much more room to work, plus we had Senior and
                                Generation One.
                           Will the new G1 be good?
                            Perhaps -- but as good?
    *** Best Comic Book Fight Scene
    TFG1 #80:  Splash page of the Autobots winning the battle on Klo.
    I still love the splash page, and I just saw it again, too.
                            They went out in style.
                          The war is over!  Finished!
                             (Until G2, that is.)
    *** Most Dramatic Scene in a Comic
    TFG1 #75: Scorponok's Death.
    Still touching.
                           He mattered, in the end.
                    "You did well, old friend" said Prime.
                             Scorponok is hero.
    *** Best Quote in a Transformers Comic Book
    "Why?  That's what they all asked me.  Why him -- why Starscream?
    Why, of all Decepticons, did I decide to revitalize the one whose
    record of deceit and betrayal is legendary?  Because I'm an idiot,
    that's why!"
    "...I am tempted to record that last statement for posterity..."
        -- Megatron and Optimus Prime, US TFG2 #10
                            The truth is now known:
                              Megatron's an idiot.
                             (He said it, not me.)
    *** Worst Single Issue of a Transformers Comic
    V1=TFG1 #43: "The Big Broadcast of 2006"
    V2=TFG1 #44: "The Cosmic Carnival"
    V3=TFG1 #55: "Toy Soldiers"
    It's amazing.  I used to like these stories....  I still don't
    understand why BBo2006 was adapted.... it was a horrible adaptation
    artwise.  I didn't like Big Top (ugh, bad pun there, Bob), and
    Toy Soldiers, now that I look at it, was rather dumb.
                           Tastes change over time.
                         But I must ask: How did SPAM
                          Once taste like prime rib?
    *** Worst Transformers Comic Book Writer
    V1=Bob Budiansky
    V2=Ralph Macchio
    Ralph produced my vote for worst issue, but Bob has had more duds
    in total.  Sorry, Bob.  You're probably a nice guy and all, but now
    that I'm an adult, I've outgrown your writing.
                                 Bob Budiansky
                         You were just doing your job.
                            We grew up, that's all.
    *** Worst Transformers Comic Book Artist
    V1=Manny Galan
    V2=Jose Delbo
                               Why Manny Galan?
                           It's easy to understand.
                         In one word:  Tongues.  Eww!
    *** Worst Transformers Comic Book Cover
    TFG1 #63
    What a horrible close-up of PowerMaster Prime.
                         Cover... image... blurred....
                        My kingdom for some blue paint!
                            And where's the focus?
    *** Worst Transformers Comic Book Series
    "Transformers: The Movie"
    Wow.  Looking at the art for that.  It was bad.  The coloring needed a
    lot of work.
                               Last year was G2.
                      I have changed my mind since then.
                            Senior's art was cool.
    *** The "Heir To The Throne" Award, part 1, for the ideal person to
    write a Transformers comic book AFTER Simon Furman is kidnapped by
    giant radioactive mutant hamsters
    V1=Dean Koontz
    V2=Kurt Busiek
    V3=Stephen King
                             Mutant hamsters?  No!
                        Would Godzilla fight them all?
                              What about Mothra?
    *** The "Heir To The Throne" Award, part 2, for the ideal person to
    draw a Transformers comic book AFTER Andrew Wildman and Geoff Senior
    are kidnapped by giant radioactive mutant hamsters
    V1=Alex Ross
    V2=M "Either You're Crazy Or Intelligent To Vote For Me Here" Sipher
                           More hamsters!  Run!  Run!
                            A hamster ate my pet dog!
                          "It's... delicious!"  *urp*
    *** The Bob Budiansky Lifetime Achievement Award, for the lamest/most
    embarassing story idea in a Transformers comic book by Bob Budiansky
    Donny Finkelberg - Robot Master indeed.  Ugh.
                             Man controls robots?
                          In such a dorky suit, too?
                             I think not.  Dummy.

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      Copyright © 2002 Altered States Magazine
    A SkyJammer Enterprises Publication