The Haiku-ed Trannies Ballot
Part V: Comics

By Philip N. Zeman

======================================================================
PART V: COMIC BOOKS

*** Best Single Issue of an American Transformers Comic
---QS:0501--Best-Single-Issue-of-a-Transformers-Comic-----------------
V1=TFG1 #75
V2=TFG2 #12
V3=TFG1 #71
Rereading the issues in the Titan collections reaffirmed my love of
Furman/Senior, hence the double-dip of Furman/Senior issues.  And I
still loved surrendering to the Decepticons as an unexpected twist.

                          Furman and Senior
                      Just above Furman/Wildman.
                         I want more Senior!
---QE:0501------------------------------------------------------------


*** Best Single Issue of a Marvel UK Transformers Comic
---QS:0502--Best-Single-Issue-of-a-UK-Transformers-Comic--------------
UK #150 -- The Furman origin of Unicron

                           Unicron the god.
                     Much better than the cartoon.
                         Primacron?  Big Deal.
---QE:0502------------------------------------------------------------


*** Best Transformers Comic Book Artist
---QS:0503--Best-Transformers-Comic-Book-Artist-----------------------
V1=Geoff Senior
V2=Andrew Wildman
V3=
Senior is senior.  All must follow!

                          We clamor for more!
                      "Alignment" was not enough!
                   More Senior!  More Senior!  More!
---QE:0503------------------------------------------------------------


*** Best Transformers Comic Book Cover
---QS:0504--Best-Transformers-Comic-Book-Cover------------------------
TFG1 #5:  "The Transformers are all DEAD."
Love that painted artwork.

                       What a chilling thought.
                   "The Transformers are all DEAD."
                    Good thing they weren't, huh?
---QE:0504------------------------------------------------------------


*** Best Transformers Comic Book Series
---QS:0505--Best-Transformers-Comic-Book-Series-----------------------
TFG1.  Furman had much more room to work, plus we had Senior and
Wildman.

                            Generation One.
                       Will the new G1 be good?
                        Perhaps -- but as good?
---QE:0505------------------------------------------------------------


*** Best Comic Book Fight Scene
---QS:0506--Best-Fight-Scene------------------------------------------
TFG1 #80:  Splash page of the Autobots winning the battle on Klo.
I still love the splash page, and I just saw it again, too.

                        They went out in style.
                      The war is over!  Finished!
                         (Until G2, that is.)
---QE:0506------------------------------------------------------------


*** Most Dramatic Scene in a Comic
---QS:0507--Most-Dramatic-Scene---------------------------------------
TFG1 #75: Scorponok's Death.
Still touching.

                       He mattered, in the end.
                "You did well, old friend" said Prime.
                         Scorponok is hero.
---QE:0507------------------------------------------------------------


*** Best Quote in a Transformers Comic Book
---QS:0508--Best-Quote-in-a-Transformers-Comic-Book-------------------
"Why?  That's what they all asked me.  Why him -- why Starscream?
Why, of all Decepticons, did I decide to revitalize the one whose
record of deceit and betrayal is legendary?  Because I'm an idiot,
that's why!"

"...I am tempted to record that last statement for posterity..."
    -- Megatron and Optimus Prime, US TFG2 #10

                        The truth is now known:
                          Megatron's an idiot.
                         (He said it, not me.)
---QE:0508------------------------------------------------------------


*** Worst Single Issue of a Transformers Comic
---QS:0509--Worst-Single-Issue-of-a-Transformers-Comic----------------
V1=TFG1 #43: "The Big Broadcast of 2006"
V2=TFG1 #44: "The Cosmic Carnival"
V3=TFG1 #55: "Toy Soldiers"

It's amazing.  I used to like these stories....  I still don't
understand why BBo2006 was adapted.... it was a horrible adaptation
artwise.  I didn't like Big Top (ugh, bad pun there, Bob), and
Toy Soldiers, now that I look at it, was rather dumb.

                       Tastes change over time.
                     But I must ask: How did SPAM
                      Once taste like prime rib?
---QE:0509------------------------------------------------------------


*** Worst Transformers Comic Book Writer
---QS:0510--Worst-Transformers-Comic-Book-Writer----------------------
V1=Bob Budiansky
V2=Ralph Macchio
V3=
Ralph produced my vote for worst issue, but Bob has had more duds
in total.  Sorry, Bob.  You're probably a nice guy and all, but now
that I'm an adult, I've outgrown your writing.

                             Bob Budiansky
                     You were just doing your job.
                        We grew up, that's all.
---QE:0510------------------------------------------------------------


*** Worst Transformers Comic Book Artist
---QS:0511--Worst-Transformers-Comic-Book-Artist----------------------
V1=Manny Galan
V2=Jose Delbo
V3=

                           Why Manny Galan?
                       It's easy to understand.
                     In one word:  Tongues.  Eww!
---QE:0511------------------------------------------------------------


*** Worst Transformers Comic Book Cover
---QS:0512--Worst-Transformers-Comic-Book-Cover-----------------------
TFG1 #63
What a horrible close-up of PowerMaster Prime.

                     Cover... image... blurred....
                    My kingdom for some blue paint!
                        And where's the focus?
---QE:0512------------------------------------------------------------


*** Worst Transformers Comic Book Series
---QS:0513--Worst-Transformers-Comic-Book-Series----------------------
"Transformers: The Movie"
Wow.  Looking at the art for that.  It was bad.  The coloring needed a
lot of work.

                           Last year was G2.
                  I have changed my mind since then.
                        Senior's art was cool.
---QE:0513------------------------------------------------------------


*** The "Heir To The Throne" Award, part 1, for the ideal person to
write a Transformers comic book AFTER Simon Furman is kidnapped by
giant radioactive mutant hamsters
---QS:0514--Person-to-Write-a-Transformers-Comic-After-Furman---------
V1=Dean Koontz
V2=Kurt Busiek
V3=Stephen King

                         Mutant hamsters?  No!
                    Would Godzilla fight them all?
                          What about Mothra?
---QE:0514------------------------------------------------------------


*** The "Heir To The Throne" Award, part 2, for the ideal person to
draw a Transformers comic book AFTER Andrew Wildman and Geoff Senior
are kidnapped by giant radioactive mutant hamsters
---QS:0515--Person-to-Draw-Transformers-Comic-After-Wildman/Senior----
V1=Alex Ross
V2=M "Either You're Crazy Or Intelligent To Vote For Me Here" Sipher
V3=

                       More hamsters!  Run!  Run!
                        A hamster ate my pet dog!
                      "It's... delicious!"  *urp*
---QE:0515------------------------------------------------------------


*** The Bob Budiansky Lifetime Achievement Award, for the lamest/most
embarassing story idea in a Transformers comic book by Bob Budiansky
---QS:0516--Most-Embarassing-Budiansky-Story-Idea---------------------
Donny Finkelberg - Robot Master indeed.  Ugh.

                         Man controls robots?
                      In such a dorky suit, too?
                         I think not.  Dummy.
---QE:0516------------------------------------------------------------

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