REFLECTIONS ON THE PAST...
(Or What the #$&@ Kept You?)
By Philip N. Zeman

Well, let's see, it's been over a half a year since I did one of these editorials, or at least since I published an editorial.

Oh, I had some written, but thanks to the delays of ASM, they never saw the light of day. One of them was written around November, talking about the problems I saw with Beast Machines; that editorial has been incorporated to this issue's feature story, so at least it wasn't completely for naught.

So, here I am, wondering what to write for this issue. I'm a bit out of touch with the state of net.Transfandom at the moment, but I suppose the big question you're wondering is

Why was there a seven month delay between issues?

Boy, ask the tough one, why don't you?

Part of it can be blamed squarely on Murhpy's Law. The machine skyjammer.com resides was unstable for quite some time, and data loss was inevitable. Not to mention, when a server is going up and down, it makes it hard to get data on there in the first place.

This problem was also compounded by the fact that there were periods of time when my home computer was out of comission. One time, it was useless for a week and a half. Other times, it was not working over the course of a weekend.

Add to the fact that Real Life ^TM interceded on many an occasion, the weekends became the only time when I could work on the magazine, so having no computer during the weekend really hampered prgoress.

So... is that it?

Well... no. Part of ASM's delay was due to unrealistic expectations on my part, leading to a bit of burnout. Had I known more fully what would all be involved in putting together an online fanzine, I would have done more advance preparation. I certainly would have realized to more realistically plan around my schedule and factor in more slack time for when I got busy.

And when I got busy, it made it that much easier to put ASM on the back burner, until it got to the point where it was almost a chore to even start working on it again.

But I knew I didn't want it to be a failure. And thanks to the help of one of our contributing editors, Daniel "SwiftEagle" Lipkowitz, I got the urge to get a second issue together.

So, here's the deal: ASM will not be published on any definitive schedule. It will be published when I feel there is enough content to warrant a new issue, but I will do my best to keep this more frequent than every seven months.

Case in point: this current issue is unfinished, but I wanted to get the Toy Fair pictures up as soon as possible, so this issue will be a work-in-progress. You'll see new articles over the next week or two, but it will still be considered one issue.

I want to again thank Daniel for providing me the desire to get a new issue out. I also want to thank Benson Yee at http://www.bwtf.com/ for the use of his images and information, as well as for helping out with this dual exclusive report of Toy Fair.

It's funny. This is a great segue into the other of my editorials that I never published. I'll let you know that it was written late last summer, so it comes from a reference point of BotCon '99 having ended only a few weeks prior, but the sentiment is still the same.

I Get by with a Little Help from My Friends

As I write these words, BotCon '99 is many weeks removed. And while that is sad -- that means I haven't seen a lot of friends since then -- it is also exciting -- it means BotCon 2000 is that much closer (July 28-30, 2000; check out BotCon Online for more info).

This past BotCon was a mixed blessing for me. It was my first BotCon in two years, having not been able to attend BotCon '98 due to prior obligations at a wedding in Vermont. (No, not my wedding....)

However, if you've not read my report of the convention, you'll find out -- or if you've read my report already, this is nothing new -- that this was the first BotCon where I came back with a dark cloud hanging over the event.

I had big plans for this con. I was planning a huge multimedia experience -- pictures, sound clips, and video. Yes, video. I rented a camcorder and was prepared to get video tape memories for my own personal library, as well as to share with all Altered States Magazine readers.

The two key words in that paragraph are "had" and "rented." You see, on Friday afternoon, I dropped the camcorder. It never worked right after that, the most noticeable problem being that it would constantly stop recording, thinking no video tape was inserted into the cassette door, even though there most certainly was a tape there.

Kind of makes it hard to video tape, doesn't it? But what worried me more is that I had a $500 security deposit on the tape, and I thought I lost all of that money. Let me tell you, seeing $500 leave your hands in a matter of seconds is not a fun experience, and I don't wish to ever repeat it. Worrying about something like that for an entire weekend also casts a shadow over the experience, even though it had virtually nothing to do with BotCon itself.

But I'm thankful that I dropped the camcorder. Okay, I'm not thankful I didn't get all the video footage that I wanted. I'm also not thankful that I had to fork over money for repairs, which also put a dent in my spending cash at the convention.

But I am thankful that I found out truly what a loving family TransFandom can be. I found out exactly who my friends are out there in the net.world.

So many times it's easy to read E-mails, scan newsgroup posts, roleplay on MUSHes, and chat on IRC and say, "Yeah, these are my friends." But to see that friendship in action in person is truly a heartwarming experience.

I can't begin to tell you how many times my friends kept my mind off my troubles, or asked me to do something with them, or tried to fix my camcorder, or did me a favor when I got bogged down with something else, or even just let me stay with them in an already crowded hotel room. I won't name names, because I know I'll forget someone, and I don't want to slight anyone. (This goes for my report as well. If I don't mention you, it's because I've got a faulty memory when writing the report, not that I don't appreciate what you did or said.) So let me just offer up a large "Thank You!" to all.

Let me close with this thought. Although I heard it from either Ben Yee or Tengu, I believe the original quote belongs to one of the members of 3H, Glen Hallit:

BotCon isn't a convention. It's a yearly family reunion.

How true that is. We've got a family that's 1100 strong and growing by the year, month, even day -- not even counting all the many Transfans who are online and can't come to BotCon (been there, know the frustration).

And that's why it was so hard for me to spend time with everyone I wanted to, just because I've now got so many family members to see. It's times like these that make me proud of TransFandom and glad to be a part of it.

It's a bit belated, but it's still heartfelt:

Thanks.

-Phil Zeman
February 2000

Philip N. Zeman is the Editor-in-Chief of ASM, and he really is thankful for all the friend he has in the fandom. You can reach him at asm_zeman@skyjammer.com.