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Buffy: The Vampire Slayer
"Chosen" (7.22) Real-Time Review
Series Finale

Review by Philip N. Zeman, Editor-in-Chief
5.20.2003

Phil [7:38:37 PM]: Well, in twenty minutes, I shall be watching the final episode of Buffy.
Phil [7:38:50 PM]: I suppose I should make a few predictions, namely, "Who Will Die?"
Phil [7:39:19 PM]: I'm guessing that Buffy is safe.
Phil [7:40:21 PM]: Willow/Kennedy -- I would think one of the two might die, but they've already done the storyline wherein Willow's girlfriend is killed, and I'm not sure they'd kill off Wil. I'll guess that Wil is safe, Kennedy is dead.
Phil [7:40:32 PM]: Xander -- he's had enough done to him this season, at least physically.
Phil [7:40:48 PM]: Anya -- I think she'll die, in one last stand to help her humans which she loves.
Phil [7:40:58 PM]: Dawn -- I think she's safe.
Phil [7:41:08 PM]: Spike -- yeah, he should be fine.
Phil [7:41:13 PM]: Angel -- duh, he's safe.
Phil [7:41:20 PM]: Principal Wood -- I think he might die.
Phil [7:41:29 PM]: Faith -- Yeah, she'll be okay.
Phil [7:42:22 PM]: Giles -- now here's the tricky part. They've already teased his death once this season. But what better way to force Buffy into becoming the most fierce she's been if they don't kill someone that she loves, and since Angel is safe... and I'm betting Willow is, too -- that leaves her former Watcher.
Phil [7:42:29 PM]: So, we'll just have to see, won't we?
Phil [8:00:02 PM]: Here we go.
Phil [8:00:29 PM]: Aw, they're not doing a "PReviously" with the entire 7 years. That would've been cool.... if confusing like the 5th year finale one was.
Phil [8:00:39 PM]: And Dawn -- you and the taser.
Phil [8:00:43 PM]: And here comes Angel to the rescue.
Phil [8:00:45 PM]: And the kiss.
Phil [8:00:49 PM]: And the "That Bitch".
Phil [8:01:06 PM]: Aw, she's basking.
Phil [8:01:11 PM]: And she's basked. Heh.
Phil [8:01:32 PM]: Heh. "You have to leave LA."
Phil [8:01:41 PM]: ... hiya, Caleb.
Phil [8:01:51 PM]: Guess he's not dead. But he does have some marbles in his mouth.
Phil [8:02:00 PM]: (Okay, maybe broken teeth.)
Phil [8:02:06 PM]: Sigh... the final end credits.
Phil [8:02:26 PM]: Er, opening titles..
Phil [8:02:38 PM]: And nothing special about them, just the normal S7 ones.
Phil [8:02:43 PM]: Oh, well.
Phil [8:02:50 PM]: I guess it should be surprising that Caleb's alive.
Phil [8:04:11 PM]: "Legally Blonde 2" -- there's a movie I won't see.
Phil [8:05:03 PM]: So.... gonna be a hell of a ride, folks.
Phil [8:05:37 PM]: You've looked better, Caleb.
Phil [8:05:40 PM]: And you seem a bit stronger.
Phil [8:05:44 PM]: ... a lot stronger.
Phil [8:05:58 PM]: .... OW.
Phil [8:06:08 PM]: .... whoa.
Phil [8:06:18 PM]: .... ugh. What a horrible pun.
Phil [8:07:03 PM]: That seemed to be a bit anticlimactic for Caleb, but then again, he was supposed to die last ep.
Phil [8:07:21 PM]: What is the scrubbing bubble power?
Phil [8:07:27 PM]: And why isn't Angel going to be in this fight?
Phil [8:07:56 PM]: "There is no other." Yeah, right.
Phil [8:08:12 PM]: Oooo, Angel's jealous.
Phil [8:08:38 PM]: Angel no longer feels special.... yep.
Phil [8:08:59 PM]: .... go all "Dawson". Nice.
Phil [8:09:15 PM]: Well, that's a nice revelation, Buffy. "He is in my heart.":
Phil [8:09:58 PM]: Do we really have time for all this heart-to-heart?
Phil [8:10:05 PM]: Isn't there an impending Apocalypse.
Phil [8:10:11 PM]: ... you're cookie dough?
Phil [8:10:14 PM]: Er.... okay.
Phil [8:10:33 PM]: This is one of the weirdest -- hah!
Phil [8:11:20 PM]: Wow. I'm surprised he's leaving.
Phil [8:11:57 PM]: Heh.
Phil [8:12:01 PM]: Way to kick, Dawn.
Phil [8:12:04 PM]: Hah! "Dumbass."
Phil [8:12:12 PM]: Telling WHO?
Phil [8:12:36 PM]: Heheheh. "Sometimes I shouldn't say words."
Phil [8:13:44 PM]: Hmmmm.
Phil [8:14:13 PM]: If Spike is under the First's control and he has the amulet, that's not exactly a good thing....
Phil [8:14:32 PM]: But ... he is the champion.
Phil [8:14:52 PM]: This is getting interesting again.
Phil [8:14:59 PM]: Has she found a soulmate in Spike?
Phil [8:15:37 PM]: Oh, The First as Caleb.
Phil [8:15:43 PM]: Thought it was Caleb for real agian.
Phil [8:17:02 PM]: Man, the First just loves playing head games.
Phil [8:17:21 PM]: .... did he just say he was drowning in Cool Whip?
Phil [8:17:47 PM]: .... how did she get to that conclusion?
Phil [8:17:50 PM]: "We're going to win."
Phil [8:19:06 PM]: Does she sense false bravado on the part of Mr. McMorphy?
Phil [8:20:38 PM]: Also, isn't Faith the Slayer, so therefore she'd have to die for any of the SiTs to become a Slayer.
Phil [8:20:42 PM]: And back to Act 2.
Phil [8:20:51 PM]: Aw, we don't hear the plan.
Phil [8:21:20 PM]: Well, it sounds like a good plan according to Giles.
Phil [8:21:40 PM]: ... nice ref to the pierced tongue....
Phil [8:22:11 PM]: Hope we don't see -- heh, Watcher Junior --Blackhaired Wil.
Phil [8:22:19 PM]: And hee -- cannon fodder.
Phil [8:22:57 PM]: ... opening the Seal.
Phil [8:23:03 PM]: That sounds a bit stupid, but hey, go out with a bang.
Phil [8:23:30 PM]: Oh, and I forgot Andrew -- I honestly don't know.
Phil [8:23:41 PM]: ... hehe. Got to have a little Faith.
Phil [8:24:29 PM]: Well, yeah, Faith, you are hot.
Phil [8:24:47 PM]: ... do we need to be hearing this?
Phil [8:24:57 PM]: DO we need to hear about Faith's Mad Skillz?
Phil [8:25:35 PM]: "No way you're prettier than me." Heh.
Phil [8:26:09 PM]: Heh. "Sweet girl, not that bright."
Phil [8:27:05 PM]: HAHAHAH!
Phil [8:27:09 PM]: Dungeons and Dragons!
Phil [8:27:12 PM]: Bwah!
Phil [8:27:14 PM]: FANTASTIC.
Phil [8:27:42 PM]: Oh, this was fantastic, Joss.
Phil [8:27:45 PM]: I applaud you.
Phil [8:28:27 PM]: So... is Spike going to have his wits about him?
Phil [8:28:34 PM]: And hide that face, Spike.
Phil [8:29:37 PM]: The two crazy ones together.... nice.
Phil [8:29:48 PM]: ... he wrote a speech?
Phil [8:29:51 PM]: Like I said. Crazy.
Phil [8:30:01 PM]: Maybe Anya should use him as a shield.
Phil [8:30:38 PM]: And we're back to the core group from Season 1.
Phil [8:30:40 PM]: Just as it should be.
Phil [8:31:07 PM]: Hee.
Phil [8:31:17 PM]: "The Earth is definitely doomed."
Phil [8:31:22 PM]: I saw that coming, but I welcome it just the same.
Phil [8:31:24 PM]: Nice touch.
Phil [8:31:53 PM]: So... using their blood to open the seal.
Phil [8:31:57 PM]: And look, it's open.
Phil [8:32:04 PM]: And look -- this is suicide and insanity.
Phil [8:32:07 PM]: Good luck, girls.
Phil [8:32:46 PM]: Hee. "Elizabeth Taylor".
Phil [8:32:58 PM]: I expected this to be a bit more firey.
Phil [8:33:06 PM]: Oh, hey, there's a fire.
Phil [8:33:13 PM]: But it's a bit small. But talk about a lot of vamps.
Phil [8:33:31 PM]: Oh, s***.
Phil [8:33:39 PM]: Yes, bathroom time for the girls.
Phil [8:34:30 PM]: Well, there are some who say the best way to fight an enemy is to take the fight to the enemy.
Phil [8:34:41 PM]: And there are some who say that the best defense is a good offense.
Phil [8:34:46 PM]: ... or is that backwards?
Phil [8:34:47 PM]: Whatever.
Phil [8:34:59 PM]: We'll see how smart this plan is.
Phil [8:35:11 PM]: Sigh... 25 minutes of Buffy left.
Phil [8:35:16 PM]: (Minus commercials.)
Phil [8:36:42 PM]: Oh, hey, buffyauction.com commercial.
Phil [8:38:13 PM]: ... yes, the vamps see her.
Phil [8:38:15 PM]: Come on, Red.
Phil [8:38:18 PM]: Get that Magick thing on.
Phil [8:38:35 PM]: .... ooooo....
Phil [8:38:41 PM]: Giving all the Slayers their powers now.
Phil [8:38:44 PM]: Excellent idea.
Phil [8:38:50 PM]: So that's the secret plan.
Phil [8:38:51 PM]: Nice.
Phil [8:39:18 PM]: ....
Phil [8:39:26 PM]: ... whoa. EVERY potential has the power?
Phil [8:39:37 PM]: That's .... impressive.
Phil [8:39:43 PM]: Kick some serious ass, people.
Phil [8:39:50 PM]: Yes, they do have the power.
Phil [8:40:06 PM]: .... well, her hair's not black.
Phil [8:40:34 PM]: Mmmm.... Kennedy with hot Slaying power.
Phil [8:40:38 PM]: And yes, Wil. That was "nifty".
Phil [8:40:44 PM]: Kick-ass. The fight to end all fights.
Phil [8:40:58 PM]: ... don't be touching my Kennedy.
Phil [8:41:02 PM]: Yeah, you go K.
Phil [8:41:20 PM]: Uh-oh.
Phil [8:41:38 PM]: Come on --- BUNNIES.
Phil [8:41:42 PM]: Bwah-hah-hah-hah!
Phil [8:41:48 PM]: Kick some Bunny ass!
Phil [8:42:00 PM]: Go, guys.
Phil [8:42:33 PM]: .... ooo, did not see that stab coming.
Phil [8:42:38 PM]: Come on, B, hold it together.
Phil [8:42:42 PM]: .... whoa.
Phil [8:42:45 PM]: Holy s***.
Phil [8:44:27 PM]: I didn't think they'd do that. Well, okay, I kinda thought they would, but I figured there as a better chance of them not doing that then doing that.
Phil [8:44:34 PM]: I don't think she's dead yet.
Phil [8:44:47 PM]: But she's gonna be in pain, that's for sure.
Phil [8:45:03 PM]: Final act.
Phil [8:45:18 PM]: Coming up in a few minutes.
Phil [8:45:21 PM]: The last few minutes of Buffy.
Phil [8:45:27 PM]: Let's hope it's a final act to remember.
Phil [8:46:47 PM]: Here we go.
Phil [8:47:07 PM]: Oh, God, B, don't be dying.
Phil [8:47:14 PM]: Don't be giving up the Scythe.
Phil [8:47:24 PM]: Come on Dawn, help him.
Phil [8:47:28 PM]: There you go.
Phil [8:47:46 PM]: ... well, that looks like Anya and Wood are both down.
Phil [8:48:21 PM]: Come on, B. Don't let that First bitch beat you.
Phil [8:48:41 PM]: There you go.
Phil [8:48:46 PM]: Do it, Buffy.
Phil [8:49:20 PM]: Yeah! Go Slayer power!
Phil [8:49:26 PM]: ... and what the heck is going on with Spike?
Phil [8:49:27 PM]: S***!
Phil [8:49:36 PM]: That's a lot of power.
Phil [8:49:40 PM]: .... DAMN.
Phil [8:49:48 PM]: He is just shining the light on all of them.
Phil [8:50:24 PM]: Come on, get out of there, people.
Phil [8:50:58 PM]: Spike is going to do the ultimate act of redemption.
Phil [8:51:56 PM]: I... think she really does love him, though.
Phil [8:52:06 PM]: Spike's going to die for Buffy and eferyone else.
Phil [8:52:13 PM]: Spike, one of the most cruel vampires in history.....
Phil [8:52:27 PM]: Run, Buffy.
Phil [8:52:42 PM]: .... I guess Spike's dead.
Phil [8:53:22 PM]: Nice jump.
Phil [8:53:29 PM]: .... HOLY S***.
Phil [8:53:35 PM]: The entire town.....
Phil [8:53:36 PM]: Gone.
Phil [8:54:12 PM]: .... Spike saved the world.
Phil [8:54:39 PM]: Yeah, the entier town is gone.
Phil [8:55:11 PM]: Poor Xander. The love of his life... gone.
Phil [8:55:30 PM]: And Wood died as well.
Phil [8:55:38 PM]: .... or maybe not.
Phil [8:55:56 PM]: Okay, Joss, you fooled me.
Phil [8:56:00 PM]: That still is one hell of a big hole.
Phil [8:56:17 PM]: Yes, you did change the world.
Phil [8:57:08 PM]: .... yes. Buffy's no longer alone.
Phil [8:57:36 PM]: Now that was a fitting ending, I think.
Phil [8:57:41 PM]: It showed Spike's true colors.
Phil [8:57:53 PM]: And it left the door wide open for tons of potential storylines.
Phil [8:58:55 PM]: I think we needed one final line from Buffy herself, though:
Phil [8:58:59 PM]: "What do we do?"
Phil [8:59:02 PM]: "Everything."
Phil [8:59:12 PM]: However.... I'm satisfied.
Phil [8:59:17 PM]: The saga of the Hellmouth is over.
Phil [8:59:50 PM]: But.... the story of the Slayers... is not.
Phil [9:00:19 PM]: It leaves me wanting more, yes.
Phil [9:00:27 PM]: I'm extremely sad that Buffy the show is no more.
Phil [9:01:30 PM]: And Lord knows I wish there was another season down the bend, because God knows this is just brimming with story ideas.
Phil [9:02:07 PM]: What is there to say?
Phil [9:02:19 PM]: This season had some down moments, yes.
Phil [9:03:19 PM]: The plot seemed to stall a bit in some eps.
Phil [9:04:08 PM]: And, to be honest, I was expecting somehow the First to become corporeal and have a knock-down drag-out fight between Buffy and the First.
Phil [9:04:50 PM]: But yet....
Phil [9:04:53 PM]: ... I'm happy.
Phil [9:05:00 PM]: I'm happy that the storyline can continue.
Phil [9:05:11 PM]: I'm happy that Buffy's not dead.
Phil [9:05:24 PM]: I'm happy that things are resolved and yet changed so greatly.
Phil [9:06:20 PM]: I'm sure Malin and I will have a lot to talk about later in our Post Mortem.
Phil [9:07:19 PM]: But let me just say thanks to Joss, Marti, the writers, the staff, and of course, Sarah, Nicholas, Michelle, Alyson, Anthony, James, Emma, David, Iyari, Marc, and the rest of the cast and crew of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Phil [9:08:06 PM]: It's been a fun ride, even if I did join the party late.
Phil [9:08:21 PM]: Until next time.